This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
