matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your cock deserves a montage
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
