We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
