Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
