Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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