Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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