There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
