I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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