She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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