he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
