Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
