Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
