Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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