I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
