almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
