I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
