if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
