Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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