If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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