dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
