ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
