I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
