As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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