My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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