I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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