I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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