We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
