Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
