Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
