Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
