Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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