Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
