Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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