His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
