I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
