so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
