shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
