It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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