between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize