you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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