is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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