i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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