TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
