I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize