He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
