This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
