I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
