dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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