look no pants
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
