I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
