Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My hand turned me down
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
