Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
