We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
