If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
