The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just invented taco cereal.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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