i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
