sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
