Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
