so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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