There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
